After reading Missing Dad Texted Son, ‘Did You Hurt Mom?’ , multiple times, I watched both videos. The article itself was well written and quite informative, but the structure took me away from it. I think there is a lot of room for improvement. For example, the article starts out with a sentence stating that a Connecticut man feared that his son was setting him up for murder. I think that having a screenshot of the text message mentioned, an actual photo, would be a more efficient way of pulling a reader in. Also, I think the back story of Jeanette and Jeffrey Navin should be one of the first things stated in the article.
In the beginning of the video, we get to see a picture of Jeanette and Jeffrey. However, there was no photo of their son, Kyle. It would be nice to put a face to the name.
Also, each video cut off before the reporter was finished reporting. I think adding another ten seconds or so to wrap up the video would work really well at adding other important information. Sometimes it’s nicer to hear a reporter telling the news rather than reading it.
The second article I read,Tennis Star James Blake Mistakenly Tackled By NYPD Cops, was a little shorter and only had one video. The video was very informative. It backed up the article and even added more information. The video showed many action shots of James Blake and also little clips of him briefly talking about the incident.
In the video, Blake states that there is also a footage of the incident. I think putting a small clip of that at the end of the article would really sum it up and tie everything together. However, it was also stated that the surveillance footage has not been released to the public, but Blake hopes that it soon will be available.
I would have liked to see more direct quotes from Blake as well. The writer only put in three quotes from Blake and none from the police officers who attacked him or none from any witnesses. An NYPD spokesman was interviewed.
The end of the article states that Blake would more than likely make a public announcement, but I haven’t found anything related to the incident.
Article links:
Missing dad texted son: “Did you hurt mom?” http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/55f1c6ece4b03784e27862f8
Former tennis star James Blake mistakenly tackled by NYPD cops http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/55f0aa9ee4b093be51bd7d38